First installment of “stuff that comes up when I talk with my friends” (provisional series title)

“These are just letters to me. I’ve let myself become dependent on her.”

She says this in an attempt, however vain, to get me to understand the intricacies of their relationship. One that I could not fathom yet. I probably won’t be able to understand until I see it in action with my own eyes.

The utter disregard for knowing what led her to this point is precisely the reason why I got so confused.

Like, how are these just letters to her? It is all about the lifestyle. Personalities are built around its very existence. A generational divide between those who like it and those who are indifferent to it.

The dependency issue scares me, too, but not as much. Humans need to cling to their own bodies, trying to keep them safe and alive for the long run. There is nothing more natural than being dependent on someone who brings that kind of presence and protection.

As we talk and I learn more about this relationship, it’s not as toxic as one would assume. She knows what she likes and wants and relies on a second person to fulfill her wishes.

The way she puts it sounds like the perfect excuse to try to disavow someone who’s trying to throw some clarity at her and make her realize that she is in a toxic relationship.

I would say that in other contexts, especially if I am in defensive mode. It’s not like I am a Yu-Gi-Oh card or anything, but we do have such moments in times when we perceive, wrongly, that we are being personally attacked. 

This could have been a discussion about love, existence, and relationship issues, but it was about tteokbokki, the little Korean cylinder rice cakes.

Photo by Sanju Pandita on Unsplash